i am citizen II© jerry stutzman

origin 03-21-07 1^stedit 9-08-08

a citizen beneath darkly woven cover

sent to his room his dollars the walls

dividing him from others

families around the block next door across town

on mornings they inhale news

visual print a photocopy of unchanging yesterdays

reciprocal continuation

darkly woven free speech

re-fabricated ethics crooked abstractions

sabotage generations of Wisdom.

diminishing light in a vacuum

flickers darkness under a shadow-chill hopelessness

where is the hunger for ancient

words of love long trusted arrows

to the inner-man delivering welcome personal conviction

they ask what happened where are my real boundaries

II.

chaos reigns before breakfast at the house

where needy meets greedy based on ones pain

at days end their spirits lust for truth

back in their rooms where their dollars (few or many)

their walls let in the cold air of near poverty

misunderstanding rules next door papered walls

worn-old posh dog-eared posters

printed metaphors of success cradling hollowed dreams

III.

castled around their children

new fashion presses against weary students at breakfast

holes in shoes cupping cold-weary feet

hearts begging protection against chilling world news

from the far-side television gutterealities flesh out all ages overcurious children

devour hollywood fantasies coerce castle-walled

gov’t approved industry designed decoys

carved mallards appealing objects false promise

where might live waters of siloam

wholesome guidance more positive relationships

communities in healthy daily family interchange instead

they dodge (or catch) flying projectiles from

duck-blinds huge multi-demented signage flat-bottom gunboats

hot-loaded with birdshot blasting branding

psycho-marketing corporations downsizing value of human lives

bounty of bread and circus blindly duped by international chaos confusion

IV.

i am citizen of another sort

an oddly solitary observer

in this glorious Genesis

of ever-corrected learning

all-around-miracles

always happening

a witness to oaks crickets frogs

heartbeats thunder cactus rain.

MY FIRST BIG BLOG OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD Jerry Stutzman 8.31.08

I always thought I’d like a website so i could relate what art I was doing; painting, sculpting, coloring, playing with words, you know. . .what an artist might be doing. Well, now I have one and it even has a blogspace provided by Wordpress and their (relatively simple?) software. Well it is I guess; but I’m a novice at this computer thing and without my friend Chris Sauvier over at www.flypaperdesigns.com/ I would certainly be up that creek watching that paddle float away.

So I’m spending most of a good Sunday sitting here 7 months to the day after my last blast of chemo/radiation, cold hands (not circulating body heat as well to my extremities) the way I useta and wondering why I didn’t remember to pick up some nice, thin wool, fingerless gloves. I can answer that. . .I forgot, which generally accompanies the flushing of chemo down the far, corner-toilet of one’s experience which, I must add, wasn’t all totally bad. I’ll explain some of that here…

I went into the experience knowing nothing as to what might happen. Actually I got quite excited thinking I would get to go HOME, ducking out, so to speak, from under the spell of  this demanding earth’s magnetism. But being counseled otherwise, I decided not to act so selfishly in front of my family and friends; So I tabled that idea and went through it, getting the most wonderful care from my wife, children, special new friends in my deep-water aerobics class, my poet friend Joe Schrader and some other neighbors, one of which hauled my weary bones off to the OHSU Cancer Center for a radiation one day when I was sooo nasty-sick. Well anyway, the point is, I went in with some light I was conscious of. . .you know, the “you are the Light of the world” kind of Light/conscious. But, Oh Baby, did I ever wash free of that cancer; bathed in a huge waterfall of Living Water/Light, I was and I Am. Gracious this recovery has been so full of surprises, daily miracles and opportunities to splash lots of that Stuff around.

Well, before these ice sickles I call the fingers on my right hand get too cold, I must go warm them and leave you in my window here. Thanks for joining me; I certainly have enjoyed thinking of you and hope all is well where you live. And yes I’ll be back with more of my cancer experience and it’s affect(s) on my life. And please remember. . Today is the day of Salvation and Hope; so don’t wait any longer to get your spiritual quest together for tomorrows joy. It’s really important right now for when or before one gets into a crisis, physically or mentally with yourself, or your kids, siblings, parents, friends, etc., its really good to have a greater power outside yourself to depend on; b’cause when you”re really sick it’s darn tough to stand poised on a strong foundation if the only thing you have on which to place your Faith and Trust is the sick and crumbled rocks and mortar of your own guts. . .thinking positive is really, really tough. I’m on your side.

he grouts fissures of confusion

with a hand-touch

a smile

teaches

understanding

grace

a given

seamless

perfectly

relating love

daily to all

his foundation

brother one

supports

serves

ponders

my needs

where kindness

justice

patience

listens

quietly

sincerely

re-kindles gifts

of friendships.

I Hope for the information needed for the reduction of today’s suffering today as well as during and after a natural or man made disaster. I Hope; until then I understand the greatest natural enemy of the reduction of suffering in our communities (at nearly any level) is this; people continue growing more and more cloistered away, driven back into the hiding places of home and TV, movies and WWW-Land. I would add to that the fact that we are overly comfortable as a culture. I don’t believe for a New York second that the Internet itself will make a community more responsive to their neighbors’ needs.

The Antidote for Human Suffering is rooted in watchfulness, kindness, caring, charity and sharing. These are some of the cornerstones of human relationships. The demand for personal satisfaction, entertainment and contentment are the antithesis of such qualities. We’re finding those things alone aren’t enough to convince others to prepare which means at the point of the incident and following, there is a good chance our communities we so hope to unite will turn on their own neighbors and take what they want of the preparations of others.

Today the shortsightedness of humans and the reaction time needed for responsive action in crisis is cluttered; the same choices that spoil personal character cause the shortening of insight and preparation. A fulfilling life and the common sense that grows with emotional maturity involves fulfilling needs outside oneself. Knowing and observing the needs of our neighbors is a great start.

As long as we act on Loving Our Neighbor As Ourselves, knowing what that means and directing our attention to them as a practical blueprint for goodwill, every day should get us closer to solving the problem of raising the community’s interest in preparedness for crisis, personal and otherwise. Let us begin.